The Cottage (2012) Directed by Chris Jaymes
Well, that was embarrassing to watch. It barely passes as a movie,
since it does so many things wrong and ultimately is a totally
ineffective one.
Thing with the movie is that it attempts to be a thriller with an horror touch to it. A very clichéd and standard horror/thriller, in which a person starts to terrorize a family but a horror/thriller nonetheless. Problem with it though is that it completely fails and falls flat with all of its horror and thriller ingredients.
This all mainly is due to its main character, played by David Arquette. Now, I have nothing against the man but boy, was he terrible in this. Or perhaps I should rather say; he got terribly written. He's supposed to be a scary psychopath but he just does some plain crazy and stupid things in the movie, that aren't scary at all. The sort of stuff that just doesn't make any sense and adds absolutely nothing to the movie its tension or mystery, even while it clearly was supposed to. It's not even laughable bad. Laughing at it would still indicate there is some joy to be found throughout this movie but that however just isn't being the case.
Besides, it's an incredibly sloppy told movie. The director Chris Jaymes clearly had no idea what he was doing and he totally failed at telling a decent story. The movie completely starts to fall apart as it progresses. I do admit that the movie starts off good enough. Nothing too impressive but certainly watchable. It however soon starts to become painfully apparent the movie isn't going anywhere interesting or clever, especially when the movie starts to make some horrible choices with its story. And because it all gets told in such a messy way, it's hard to ever feel involved with the movie, or to even remain interested enough in it, to finish watching it.
Sometimes movies are so bad, they actually become good and fun ones...and then there also are just some movies that are so bad, they are horrible to watch! This movie definitely falls in that latter category and there is absolutely no reason to ever watch it!
2/10
Thing with the movie is that it attempts to be a thriller with an horror touch to it. A very clichéd and standard horror/thriller, in which a person starts to terrorize a family but a horror/thriller nonetheless. Problem with it though is that it completely fails and falls flat with all of its horror and thriller ingredients.
This all mainly is due to its main character, played by David Arquette. Now, I have nothing against the man but boy, was he terrible in this. Or perhaps I should rather say; he got terribly written. He's supposed to be a scary psychopath but he just does some plain crazy and stupid things in the movie, that aren't scary at all. The sort of stuff that just doesn't make any sense and adds absolutely nothing to the movie its tension or mystery, even while it clearly was supposed to. It's not even laughable bad. Laughing at it would still indicate there is some joy to be found throughout this movie but that however just isn't being the case.
Besides, it's an incredibly sloppy told movie. The director Chris Jaymes clearly had no idea what he was doing and he totally failed at telling a decent story. The movie completely starts to fall apart as it progresses. I do admit that the movie starts off good enough. Nothing too impressive but certainly watchable. It however soon starts to become painfully apparent the movie isn't going anywhere interesting or clever, especially when the movie starts to make some horrible choices with its story. And because it all gets told in such a messy way, it's hard to ever feel involved with the movie, or to even remain interested enough in it, to finish watching it.
Sometimes movies are so bad, they actually become good and fun ones...and then there also are just some movies that are so bad, they are horrible to watch! This movie definitely falls in that latter category and there is absolutely no reason to ever watch it!
2/10
Watch trailer
